How Do Parents Earn the Trust of Their Children?

Trust. Without it, everything falls apart, especially in a family setting. When it is assumed, our most important relationships are bound to fail and that leaves us feeling desperate.

Children can explore the world confidently only if home remains a safe place to recuperate from life’s inevitable bruises. When home offers trust instead of criticism and rejection, kids are somewhat insulated from the bad elements of the world. Unfortunately, they often resort to the world because home has failed them. When children don’t develop a bond of trust with parents, home becomes an emotional prison from which they will do anything to escape.

Trust for children is important because when it is broken they have no other connections to keep them stable. In an effort to meet this need they desperately latch on to whoever and whatever will suffice. When family, the first authority structure in their lives, fails to meet this deepest of human needs all authority figures and institutions become suspect. Legislators, law enforcement and educational institutions are then viewed suspiciously. The very people who can protect them and encourage their development are forsaken. Gangs, cliques, clubs, radicals and all the questionable activities associated with them are the only options a trust-seeking child has.

The truth? We avoid people we don’t trust and gravitate to those we do and this natural, almost instinctive, human response is limited by no moral restrictions. People have been known to do anything for and with those with whom they sense a degree of trust. Once a trust is established, loyalty is never challenged by right or wrong.

All of that is to say that trust in the family is essential. A well-balanced perspective on life and the world around us hinges on the trust parents can establish with their children. When children don’t learn to trust mom and dad first, huge problems can occur.

So the question is how can a parent earn the trust of their children? A lot rides on getting this right and there are several important points to consider.

You must earn it.
Trust is not like obedience. Children obey us because they have to. Trust, however, must always be earned, even by parents. If your child doesn’t trust you it is your fault not theirs. To earn it you will have to change. You might have to apologize.

Be fair.
One goal of the parenting effort is to teach children to be trustworthy. When they don’t immediately demonstrate this quality parents are disappointed, sometimes angry and always frustrated. Every wise parent will be careful not to express these feelings but on occasion even the wisest will slip. The children in turn will feel misunderstood and in extreme cases rejected. Fortunately, children are resilient and will bounce back when parents change their attitude.

But, what happens when parents break trust? Are children allowed to be disenchanted? Can they express their frustrations and afterward apologize for being impatient and judgmental? Are they given fair consideration when their expectations haven’t been satisfied? A child’s reaction to parental failures shouldn’t be viewed as disrespect. In fact, they should be allowed more leverage in this regard. Parents are adults and should be better experienced at keeping their promises. When kids make hurtful but honest observations about our failures parents must be big enough to allow it and acknowledge the wrong. Trust will be restored and children will be affirmed.

Be protective.
People trust others with many things: money, responsibilities, time, property and so on. Kids have none of these. They trust us with things that are much more personal: feelings, thoughts, expectations and image. When a child’s ideas are dismissed and their feelings ignored they close down. Being casual about promises and ridiculing their image pushes them away. They draw back emotionally and shut off mentally. Under these circumstances it isn’t unusual for them to find someone else to bond with.

Their problematic experiences are humorous to us but our laughter may make them feel less like a person and more like a joke. Don’t abuse their sense of significance.

Be open to who they are.
Nurture their individuality. Every parent can visualize exactly what their child will become, usually before they are born, sometimes before their conception but unfortunately, there are no “order-forms” for children. What you are given is what you get and it may be very different to what you anticipated. Instead of a Super Bowl winning quarterback, your son might be inclined toward cheffing or art or design work of some kind. Instead of home making, your daughter might choose engineering or research in aboriginal communities of the world. See your children as prototypes not stereotypes. Encourage the development of their individuality don’t fight it.

Be open to what they think.
Don’t just allow your children to speak their mind encourage it. Draw them out. Everyone can come up with good ideas even kids. Asking a child what he or she thinks and attending to what they say is a great way to build trust. Everyone is drawn to those who listen to them intentionally. Encourage your kids to talk and listen, without reacting, when they do.

Be encouraging and personable.
Notice your kids often. Take time to observe and recognize their abilities. Don’t assume they know how special they are tell them. Corrections, which are inevitable, are much easier to process if preceded by lots of “atta-boys.” They will begin to believe in themselves, will develop accordingly and will trust your judgment because of it. They will also learn the art of recognizing and personally acknowledging the value of others.

Be yielding.
Controlling children is not the object. They will love you greatly and trust you absolutely if you enable them to become independent. Giving them carefully measured and increasing amounts of space to experience the world beyond your presence does two things. It enables them to learn where the pitfalls are and it sends the message that you, the parent, believe in them.

No parent is capable of keeping children from every possible mistake. Reassure them up front that mistakes are a normal part of learning and you will be there when they happen. If parents do their job properly, children will have no problem trusting them with their mistakes.

Be intentional.
Childhood is by nature a growing stage in life but the growth is always most rewarding when it isn’t accidental. Help your children formulate reasonable, age appropriate goals to guide their development. When goals are reached, reward them. When they fall short investigate without incrimination.

As much as possible, let them decide what pursuits to engage. Don’t demean their rate of progress or criticize their interests. Character is developed in every discipline and if proper parental management is exercised trust will be the outcome.

Remember that no one stands alone. We need people and the ones we trust are the ones to whom we attach ourselves. As children grow older they will develop trust with an increasing number of people. If parents do their job properly the new people will be additions, not replacements.

How Does God View the Less Privileged, Part 2 – He Honors Them With Accountability

Matthew 8:1-4 NIV
When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and (worshipped Him or) knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said, "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. Then Jesus said to him, "See that you don't tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them."

Some might suggest that this leper’s motive was healing not worship. He did indicate very honestly that he wanted to be healed. But there are a few reasons why this definitely was not his primary motive.

One, There was no guarantee that he would be healed.

Jesus can heal anyone and had healed many but there is nothing in the Bible which indicates He will or does heal everyone. There were many lepers in Israel. If healing was guaranteed, why didn’t they all show up?

The Apostle Paul needed to be healed of an eye disease and prayed for it several times. The answer to his prayer: it was the express will of God that he not be healed.

Two, There was actually a level of danger associated with worshipping Jesus.

There were many people who followed Jesus but they were very careful to stay hidden in the crowd. They were curious about Jesus not committed to Him. They did nothing to stand out. From the early stages of Jesus public ministry He was perceived as a trouble maker and people were generally wary of getting too close personally. Only the very resolved would do so.

In His home town, Nazareth, the people had attempted to throw Him over a cliff after He made His first public claim to being the fulfillment of Old testament prophecy. The religious leaders hated Jesus from the very beginning and their violent intentions became more apparent as His public ministry developed. They eventually threatened any person who recognized Him publicly. One blind man, healed by Jesus, was publicly interrogated and reprimanded for being healed of his blindness (John 9).

Jesus’ family were afraid of Him and for Him. They questioned what He was doing and on one occasion tried to interfere. They felt the pressure of His public ridicule.

Because of this, many people were willing to be entertained by Jesus but were hesitant to actually worship Him. Recognizing Jesus was dangerous and being healed by Him was no less dangerous.

This leper hoped to be healed but his actions indicate he was determined to worship, even in the face of danger, and this is what set him apart from thousands of others who were ministered to physically by Jesus. Of all the people Jesus healed there is very little in the Bible to indicate they believed in or worshipped Jesus before or after they were healed.

Third, this man never demanded a healing.

The Leper said, “if you are willing you can make me clean.” This statement was acknowledging both God’s power and God’s will. He knew Jesus had the power to heal him but he made no demands.

God never uses His power to manipulate our will and we should never use our need to manipulate His. This Leper understood that the best relationships could never be forced. He wanted to be healed but it was not a condition of his worship. He wanted God with or without the healing.

HOW DID JESUS RESPOND?

Jesus did two things in response to this man.

One, He touched him.

Touching can be a very superficial form of interaction. To touch someone does not necessarily mean you are interested in them but to touch a leper was a dangerous thing to do and was, therefore, very affirming for the leper.

It was rare that any leper was ever touched and when it happened it was never an expression of affection or concern. It always meant rejection. Lepers were avoided and when someone did touch one it was either accidental or intended to drive them away. But not this time.

This touch was an expression of acceptance. Jesus didn’t have to touch anyone to perform a healing. In some cases He didn’t even know or see the person who was healed. In this case He did what was unnecessary (touch) in a very public setting (everyone had to be watching) to make an important point. Jesus accepted this man’s worship and his person. His touch was equal to an embrace.

It wasn’t easy for this man to acknowledge Jesus publicly. It wasn't expected that Jesus would allow him to get close much less touch him but those are the conditions under which a real connection with Jesus can be made. Everything about this encounter was extreme. Later in Matthew’s Gospel Jesus is quoted as saying:

Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. Mt 10:32

This leper moved from the realm of non-worship into the company of those who stood out in their worship of God and Jesus honored him for it. The crowd did nothing to encourage or stop his worship. They were neither for it nor against it, as a whole. There were some who were interested in Jesus and many who were not. I think it is safe to say their attitude was generally more negative than positive. The equivocation of the crowd, however, could not stop this man from worshipping.

And the truth? Jesus cannot ignore genuine worship. The believing heart cannot withhold it and Jesus cannot ignore it, in public or in private.

When Jesus touched this man He was making a statement about Himself and the leper. It was the most convincing and even dramatic way to express acceptance. Lepers were untouchables. It was only under the most extreme circumstances that anyone even got close enough to touch one. Jesus not only allowed this man to intrude upon His personal space, but, in order to prove his healing, He reached out and touched him. Jesus was also declaring His ability to save. If He could heal a body of a most dreaded disease miraculously, not medically, then He also had the power to save a soul.

Jesus was not insecure about this man or his disease and He honored him in the same way He had been honored by him.

A second thing Jesus did was encourage him to be accountable.

There was nothing radical in the advice Jesus gave this man.

Jesus had just healed him but instead of making a noisy scene about it, He told the man to keep his mouth shut. “Don’t tell anyone. Instead go to the locally recognized authorities (the priests), submit yourself to the normal procedures followed when anyone was healed of leprosy and have them verify the healing.” The cure was instant but the verification process took time.

Leprosy was a serious public health hazard and needed to be handled in a responsible way even when it was healed miraculously. No short cuts were allowed. Jesus did not expect this man to be reintroduced into society without going through the normal procedures. Jesus did miraculous things but never at the expense of the mundane.

Jesus was not suggesting he keep this thing a secret. That would have been impossible. Jesus was saying don’t become a braggart, or obnoxious or arrogant or boisterous because you have been healed. Healings, properly accepted, make you humble not haughty and he really wouldn’t need to tell anyone anyway. How can you hide a healing of this nature? All the people who knew him before he contracted leprosy would also know he was healed and would be inquisitive as to how this came about.

The crowds also could verify this healing. They were there when it happened. They saw it with their own eyes. Some probably did not like the fact that Jesus healed the man but they couldn’t lie about it. Even the priest whose job it was to pronounce him clean would more than likely have a few questions.

The truth is, when Jesus really touches your life you won’t need to tell anyone. The touch of Jesus changes you, makes you more responsible and enables you to be held accountable even when you are labeled as underprivileged. Responsibility and accountability are self-evident and within every person’s reach. Jesus expects these things of us and as far as we know this leper demonstrated it.

Jesus was not telling this man to be quiet or secretive. He was telling this man the best way to make a noise. He also wasn’t allowing this man to be helpless. He gave him new opportunities and expected him to be accountable.

Questions:

1. What is it in your life that indicates you truly worship Jesus?

2. What changes in your life would cause others to ask you about your faith?

3. Has your life been touched by Jesus and if not before, why not now?

How Does God View the Less Privileged, Part 1 – He Sees Them as Capable of Worship

Matthew 8:1-4 NIV
When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and (worshipped Him or) knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said, "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. Then Jesus said to him, "See that you don't tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them."

The first seven chapters of Matthew cover a lot of history. It begins with the birth of Jesus and includes only the high points for the next thirty years:

• The visit of the wise men
• The escape of Joseph, Mary and Jesus into Egypt and their return to Galilee
• The ministry of John the Baptist
• The temptation of Jesus
• The beginning of Jesus ministry
• The calling of the first disciples
• And the Sermon on the Mount.

Beginning in chapter 8, however, Matthew presents a series of events in which Jesus ministers to different people individually. He moves from the long view of history to recording snippets in which Jesus’ ministry begins to be very personal. I like to refer to these events as personal ministry moments. They are occasions on which Jesus interacted with certain people one at a time.

Matthew presents these situations as if they were successive. Whether these events immediately followed each other or not has no bearing on the teaching he presents. Even the order of events is not critical to the intended meaning.

His intention was to illustrate the very personal nature of Jesus’ ministry. If he had included every event that occurred between each snap shot we might have missed the point…Jesus ministered to every kind of person individually and no person presented a challenge He could not handle. Matthew was interpreting the ministry of Jesus not giving us raw historical data. Interestingly enough, the first person He ministers to is a leper.

By this time, Jesus had already become well known. In fact, before Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount Matthew made this comment:

“News about him spread all over Syria…Large crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan followed him.” Matthew 4:24-25 NIV

Following the Sermon on the Mount the Bible says, “Great multitudes followed Him” still.

This is an important fact to consider. What happened between Jesus and this Leper did not take place beyond public view in some out of the way area. It happened right in the middle of a crowd and it makes the contact Jesus had with this leper even more interesting.

As far as we know, Jesus was not healing or teaching at this point. He was moving from the mount on which He delivered His famous sermon and moving to the next geographical location. As He travels, a leper comes out of nowhere and charges into His presence. He seems a bit abrupt, maybe even clumsy but very resolved. To appreciate this situation fully we really need to know something about lepers during Bible times.

Lepers were on the lowest rung of the social order and experienced pain on several levels.

One, they knew the pain of loss due to disease. Disease of any kind always limits your abilities. It is humiliating and discouraging even when there is a known cure. When no cure is available, it flattens us completely. There was no cure for leprosy in Bible times. With leprosy, people lost body parts, money, opportunity and became homeless. Because leprosy is a degenerative disease, its victims were eventually rendered deformed and unsightly. The physical pain was matched by mental and emotional anguish.

They also experienced the pain of a slow death. People don’t usually die as a direct result of leprosy. They die because of the complications that result from the disease. Blindness, numbness and other crippling effects made them vulnerable. Because people avoided them they had not one to help which made them even more vulnerable. How and when death would come they were never sure but an early lonely death was inevitable.

They experienced the pain of social rejection. Because leprosy was contagious and untreatable, lepers were isolated from society being relegated to what the Bible calls “outside.”

• They didn’t live in neighborhoods
• They couldn’t go to the shops
• They couldn’t hold any meaningful form of employment
• Worst of all they could have no physical contact with other humans

The bacteria that cause leprosy are transferable from one person to another without physical contact. Lepers, therefore, were required to keep their distance and to warn people if they got too close. It had to be lonely.

They never received a holy kiss, or a healthy hug or a firm hand shake. They never cuddled up with the person they loved. They couldn’t sit in a nice coffee shop and enjoy a cup of coffee. They couldn’t walk through a mall and feed off the energy of the crowd. They couldn’t sit at a table and enjoy a nice meal with family.

They could only watch from a distance and long for what they desperately needed but could never have.

From others this leper felt barricaded. To Jesus, however, he felt drawn. And from the reading of this passage we believe that Jesus was also drawn to him.

In spite of this man’s limitations, he found his way into the presence of Jesus and honored Him by worshiping Him (not privately, behind closed doors, but very publicly).

Can you imagine this leper making his way through the crowd? Normally he would shy away, even declaring from a distance that he was “unclean” enabling the uninfected to keep a safe distance. In this situation, however, he said “I’m coming through” and apparently he wouldn’t be deterred. I’m sure there were people who derided him and tried to run him off but he wasn’t dissuaded.

I believe by the time he got to Jesus everyone was watching. They were curious as to how Jesus would handle a leprous situation. And when he got to within close range of Jesus the Bible says he knelt down in an expression of worship. He didn’t complain about his condition or ask why he was the one so affected. He worshiped!

Some people want to argue with Jesus. Some people wish to interrogate Jesus. Some people are just curious and want to see what is going on. None of these attitudes reflect worship. This leper had no arguments or questions and his curiosity had long since been satisfied. He only wanted to recognize and honor Jesus.

It is OK to ask questions. We expect it, allow it and even encourage it. But questioning Jesus is not the same as worshiping Jesus. Proper worship is evidence that all worship-hindering-questions have been resolved.

This man wasn’t coming to accept Jesus. He already believed, and his belief drove him into the presence of Jesus.

This setting was not even conducive to worship. There was no air conditioning, comfortable pews and the atmosphere was not uplifting. The crowd was probably as antagonistic as it was favorable to both Jesus and the Leper. But worship comes from the heart and can be expressed by any person under all circumstances.

I think we can learn a lot about worship from this poor leper. In fact, I have isolated one huge observation about worship from his example. Disabilities can never prevent the believing heart from worshiping God.

Worship is not really a choice. Whom we worship is. Everyone in the crowd that day was worshiping. The leper was one of only a few worshiping Jesus.

It is natural to worship. It takes a deliberate effort to worship God.

The way you determine the object of a person’s worship is by asking the question, who or what comes first in their life and there are really only two possible answers: God or Self.

The Leper had many very good reasons to put off approaching Jesus. The crowd was disagreeable (although they certainly got out of the way), it was painful to move around and being scarred he probably didn’t enjoy public attention but none of these things stopped him.

This man didn’t wait for Jesus to come to him. He got up and went. Jesus did make Himself accessible to him but no more so than He did to any person. In fact, we could make the argument that it was more difficult for this man to come to Jesus than it was for many others. As far as we know there were more people wishing this leper away from Jesus than there were people graciously making way.

Jesus ministered to the crowds constantly. He fed, taught and healed many people who did little more than take Him for granted but He didn’t pamper them when it came to worship. Worship is something any person can do even when they have huge limitations and this Leper is proof.

The greatest connection any person can have with Jesus happens at the point of worship. Jesus cannot ignore worship anymore than the believing heart can withhold it even when it comes from the less privileged or physically challenged. Jesus is truly an equal opportunity Savior. ThinkAboutIt

God Speaks To Everyone - Through Jesus

Jesus...saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" (Matthew 9:9-11)

A brief reading of the Gospels makes one thing very clear. Jesus never ministered in isolation. He was constantly putting Himself in situations where He could make contact with large numbers of people who represented very diverse backgrounds.

He went to various synagogues in different cities.

He mixed with both the religious elite and the religiously detestable.

He spent time with those who were poor (and sometimes ill) and He interacted with those who were well fed, in good health and privileged.

Jesus never focused His attention only on particular groups or classes of people. No one was left out. His ministry efforts touched a broad section of society which included every financial, health, cultural and religious category.

Jesus went places the pious would not and this activity exposed Him to the attacks from those who disagreed.

Jesus spent time with those who were curious, those who were hateful and those who were confused. He never created or gravitated to cliques.

Jesus was not shy about ministering to any person and was never afraid to talk about it publicly. He treated everyone as socially approachable and some judged that as repulsive.

Jesus did not treat everyone exactly the same but He made sure that He was accessible to everyone and He was more than willing to discuss His activities should anyone wish to find fault.

Jesus saw people as fitting into two different categories. Some were believers and some were not. He ministered to both.

For those who believed, Jesus instructed their faith so they were better informed and more accurately aligned with the intentions of Jesus. Their faith was real but immature and misdirected by assumptions. The disciples often said or did silly things without thinking and Jesus patiently corrected them, gently whenever possible.

Those who did not believe were blinded by cultural bias and they often queried Jesus on points of well accepted but unfounded dogma. Jesus responded by asking questions rather than giving answers. He was more interested in making them think than demonstrating His own intelligence. That was, by the way, a means of honoring the intelligence of His antagonists. He was suggesting they could find the answers without His help and this approach also avoided stirring up arguments.

There were many people who were contrary toward Jesus but in spite of this tension He ministered to them as well. When presented with the woman caught in adultery, instead of stoning her, which the crowd wanted, Jesus found a way to spiritually challenge every person: the guilty, the innocent and the contrary. In every situation He found ways to reach out in every direction and meet every spiritual need of every kind of person.

And Matthew is the right man to make this point known. In Bible times Matthew, being a tax collector, was tagged as an outsider. Overly religious people avoided Matthew. In fact, they despised him.

Jesus, on the other hand, ministered directly and very personally to this man. Not only did Jesus call him into a very special position of ministry, Apostleship, but immediately following that call, He accepted an invitation to eat with Matthew and many of his friends in Matthew’s home.

This made everyone think, believers and unbelievers alike. It was shocking twice over.

Firstly, Jesus called a religiously unacceptable man to ministry and then, to add insult to injury, He ate with him in his house rubbing shoulders with all his religiously and socially rejected friends. Both actions were taken in public view.

The way Jesus ministered to people was irritating to some and relieving to others but surprising to everyone. The Pharisees were agitated by Jesus. Matthew and his friends were liberated by Him. Both were wide eyed.

Matthew reports not only his own experience with Jesus but also many other situations in which Jesus did very unexpected things. Things considered unorthodox by others. He wanted to make a point about the very diverse nature of Jesus’ ministry. Jesus ministered to every kind of person on an individual level. He was always ready to minister to anyone not just the accepted few.

The question is how do our ministries compare? We are not as clever as Jesus and we don't have His power but we have the same responsibility, minister to everyone. We are to minister to the spiritual and physical needs of every category of individual in every kind of situation. When we do, we may find ourselves in culturally and socially compromising situations. Jesus did and we shouldn't be surprised if it happens to us. Like Jesus, we may find ourselves tagged as “unorthodox.” But, God, through Jesus, has spoken to everyone. We need to make everyone aware of it. Doing anything less is not obedience. ThinkAboutIt.

The Importance of Strong Family Bonds

Life is relational. It is impossible to exist apart from relationships and close ones involve people we see, talk to and hear daily. We work with and depend on these people. The relationship we have with them can be very good, very bad or somewhere in between. These close connections change us and enable us to influence change in others. Every person will move through many different relationships during the course of their life and each relationship will leave its mark but none will be as important as the bond we have with family, for many reasons.

The strongest influence on any person’s life, for good or bad, comes from the family. It is the first, it is the longest and it is, therefore, the most influential relationship anyone will have. Our first opinions were not arrived at through independent thought. They were imposed on us by the influence of this relationship. We accepted these initial ideas as gospel and assumed it was the common understanding.

"Relationship" for every person is immediate and automatic. There is no lag time between the conception of a child and the point at which they begin to live in relationship. Even a fetus shares the moods of the mother. They experience the movements of the mother. They obviously share the same space. They sense when mother is conversing with others and probably sense the emotional content of the conversation. They begin to relate to another human without even trying.

Once the child is born the process does not slow down. It leaps into high gear and the person in this situation who is least able to contribute to the relationship is the child.

Children do not choose to be born and they don’t choose the parents to which they are born but they will intentionally choose many other relationships outside the family. Developing the discernment to know which relationships to pursue and which to avoid happens in the home. When family connections are strong and healthy kids learn by experience what a good relationship looks like and feels like. They know what to give and what to expect. Parent-child relationships managed in the right way provide a type of filter through which every other potential relationship can be assessed before it is engaged.

Unfortunately, relationship pain is the worst kind of pain in the world. Relationships are very easily established (even bad ones) but very difficult to dissolve and they never go away completely. When a person does manage to get out of a bad relationship it is never quite over. The pain doesn’t go away immediately and the scars are always there.

Parents cannot afford to miss the opportunity to engage relationally with their children. If bonding doesn’t take place in the home, the vacuum will be filled by the first relationship possibility that develops. That may be a very bad thing and even the parents can suffer with the pain of that choice for years.

A strong bond in the home is protective. After a child gets a taste for an accepting, affirming and supportive relationship in the family, it will be difficult for them to tolerate anything less. ThinkAboutIt

When Science Acts Like Religion

Philosophy is an area of study which confuses many but intrigues us all. If you have ever read a philosophy book you know exactly what I mean. The popular definition of philosophy is “the love of wisdom” (not knowledge) which is really more vague than clarifying but the The Free Dictionary helps us out with a very thorough definition, a portion of which follows: Philosophy is…

• The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.

That is to say, philosophers tediously discuss ideas that can’t be proven true or false. They target your “beliefs” (faith) about the fundamental issues of life and focus on questions like these:

Where did we come from?

How did we get here?

How do we exist?

What are thoughts made of?

What constitutes morality?

The answers to all of these questions fall into the “belief” category and the philosopher’s intent is to substantiate or discredit those beliefs using logically arranged arguments. And they don’t all agree. The Free Dictionary lists over 180 different philosophies some of which blend, many of which clash violently.

Rene Descartes used philosophical arguments about “thought” to prove the existence of God. The popular statement, “I think, therefore I am” was coined by him.

David Hume and others, however, did just the opposite. They attempted to prove that “the conception of God” was not a reflection of His existence. But, (and this is an important truth) all philosophers begin with a supposition. They are dealing with beliefs and their premise in every case is unfounded. They may vehemently argue for what they “believe” (God or no God) but prove it they can’t.

Descartes was a theist and used philosophy to justify his theism. Hume was an agnostic/atheist and used philosophy to substantiate his “belief” system. The writings of these men and others have heavily influenced philosophical musings in recent times.

Now, because every person is philosophical by nature (God made us that way) most people are drawn into the discussion. And why not, it promises…not a possible answer, but the answer. If you are like me, you have on occasion bought (or borrowed) a book or two that includes the writings and thoughts of recognized philosophers. And, if you are like me, you have gotten lost in the rhetoric a time or two and been disappointed with the outcome. Descartes didn’t prove God existed and Hume couldn’t prove He didn’t. How frustrating!

But, that doesn’t stop us from philosophizing. The need to investigate is basic to our nature. Every person at heart grapples with the “what and why of life” and is motivated by some type of philosophy. Every generation produces its notable thinkers and we have ours today, one of whom, Richard Dawkins, has written a very interesting book, “The God Delusion.”

Mr. Dawkins is actually a scientist (ethologist - study of animal behavior) and he has an earned PhD. We applaud that. He is a clever guy. But, much of his writing is more philosophical than it is scientific. He is a rabid atheist and a staunch evolutionary biologist who has been referred to as "Darwin’s Rottweiler." His other books include “The Selfish Gene” (a gene based theory of evolution) and “The Blind Watchmaker” (arguing against the theologically based philosophy of intelligent design).

In his most recent book, “The God Delusion,” Mr. Dawkins paints a picture in which science gets only a shadow of a brush stroke, philosophy is used only for window dressing and religion mixed with politics is the primary element. In essence Mr. Dawkins argues against the idea of God, using as his primary proof, all the religious nonsense and abuse he can site and for a side dish he makes political institutions complicit in the whole scheme.

Interestingly enough, his observations are spot on. Religion (made and operated by man) has a poor track record when it comes to abuse and excess. In the name of “Religion” thousands have been hurt, many killed. On top of that, Religious institutions have managed to gain more than a fair share of the world’s wealth without being accountable for it. He is completely just in suggesting that “religion” has been politically pampered in every generation. It sickens even the religious.

He doesn’t spend much time talking about the good things religious people have done and he mostly ignores the diversity in religious beliefs and practices and I won’t spend time crying about it. If I did, I would be no better than Dawkins whose lack of originality was alluded to by Joan Blackwell in her review published at The Guardian: “Dawkins's most original contribution is the examination of why religion has persisted so long after the scientific revolution…” She supports Dawkins and seems to enjoy the diatribe tone of his “academic” essay.

What I will do, however, is point out a fundamental flaw in Dawkins’ argument. He can no more prove the non-existence of God by the actions of religious people (not all of whom represent the same “god”) than religious people can prove God exists by the actions of atheists. What is fair for one side is fair for the other.

If atheists use theists as an argument to prove God is a delusion then theists can use the character of the atheist community to argue for His existence. He doesn’t like it when we do this but it is fair and a quick internet search of the atheist community will reveal some scary stuff.

The level of accountability in the atheist community is very limited as well. No one has written the rule on acceptable behavior in an atheist world and, by the way, atheism is getting a fair share of pampering these days. Prayer was removed from public schools in America because the atheists were offended. Interesting. Many other political issues have fallen on the side of atheism also.

Dawkins writes intelligently and gives the impression of fairness but only the already convinced are moved. He agitates believers and entertains everyone else.

Score: Atheists 0 - Theists 0

Even his confidence that the world would be a better place if run without religion seemed a bit shaky when he confessed that organizing atheists is like “herding cats.” Interesting observation. An atheist led world would be nothing more than an experiment and it could prove catastrophic. Religion is the devil we know. Atheism is the one we don’t.

Mr. Dawkins can only assume that the world he advocates would be free, or at least less stained by abuses, more humanitarian, but how can he be certain of this? Has anyone written the bible on how an atheist world would operate? Marx wrote the manifesto (we all know how that turned out); maybe Dawkins will be inspired to write the bible. And don’t tell us it will all become obvious once the evolutionary process is ended (does it come to an end???). We have surely evolved sufficiently for many very clear principles to be established. Put them in writing. Let us see what you have. That is the democratic thing to do and it might relieve some of the bickering and arguing that takes place on a philosophical level.

The real question is this. Can we really use religion to prove God doesn’t exist? Can we really say religion is causing all the problems in the world? Would a world without religion really be more loving, nurturing, helpful, constructive and so on?

Unfortunately, there have been many transgressions by believers. Does that mean things will only get better if they didn’t believe? We can’t logically make that assumption. It might get worse. I shudder to think…

All of this makes for a very good discussion and I really enjoy it but it does generate a lot of friction so don’t get all worked up about the verbal punching that goes on. Just thank God that Christians influenced our modern world sufficiently to allow, even encourage, the free and open discussion, albeit heated occasionally, around differing philosophical opinions.

The only thing God has to say in this discussion is…

He that comes to God (attempting to find Him) must believe that He is…(Hebrews 11:6)

Note: Today “ethology” has been expanded to include human behavior. Maybe Mr. Dawkins influenced this trend. It does fit his philosophy and many recognized academic institutions agree, along with the non-thinking public. Sounds like atheists are getting pampered. ThinkAboutIt

Blogging = Saying What You Think

I first got into blogging because I had something to say. I enjoy spending time in the gaps, those areas where questions linger like elephants in the room. Everyone knows they are there but no one is willing to talk about them. It’s just too much work to address these big guys intelligently and you risk upsetting the apple cart when you do. But, if you think about something long enough (a very long time for me) you begin to fill in the gaps and make the loose ends connect. I am sure I won’t get to all the gaps during my life time but the exercise is gratifying and really second nature anyway. So, I think.

Of course, thinkers are also writers. I’m not extremely meticulous about this but when I have the time I enjoy putting words together in an effort to put my gap fillers on paper. That is why I started blogging. And its free!

Many companies offer free blogging templates and hosting to any person willing to journalize their thoughts. Millions of people are taking advantage of this. Do a Google (or MSN or Yahoo) search on any topic and thousands of blogs will be listed in the results. I happen to be using Blogger at the moment (one of the largest blog hosting companies if not the largest) but there are many different options to choose from. If you have never blogged I highly recommend it.

But, that isn’t the point of this post. The more I blogged the more interested I became in all the things that must happen for sites to be built and hosted and optimized and monetized and uploaded with original content and so on. I was fascinated. The more I learned, the more I discovered there was to learn and the more deeply I wanted to delve into the inner workings of this amazing form of media.

And what I discovered is, people are actually making money doing this. There are many ways to make that happen and I am still at the beginning end of this particular learning curve but as with every other investment in life you can’t make money without investing money. That is to say, doing the internet right costs bucks. I don’t have many of those so I have done the next best thing, patiently looked around for low cost opportunities to develop sites and make them interesting enough so people on the outside would have a "look see" and advertisers would put their face on what I have to say. And that is the reason for this particular post.

I got connected with a blog, SocialDN.com, who specializes in the Domain Name side of the internet business (a very interesting business even if done recreationally) and they are running a contest. You participate by executing a series of tasks each of which earns points and those with the highest points win internet related services which could otherwise cost hundreds of dollars. Since I have few of those (I mentioned that) I thought I would give it a go.

The amazing list of prizes follows:

DNXpert.com $100 cash via PayPal

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RegFeeDomains.com 2 x Domain Registrations at RegFeeDomains.com worth $16

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FusedHosting.net 1 year of Shared 1 worth $32

FusedHosting.net 1 year of Proxy25 worth $30

Bido.com 1 Signed Copy of "The Domain Game" worth $30

Total Value: $2,100+

Wish me luck. I hope to win something.

But, to be honest I don’t want to have all this fun by myself. If you have never blogged, start today. I know you have something to say. Everyone does. Blogging can help you turn that self expression into something useful. And who knows, if you don’t “make” any money you might just “win” what money buys. ThinkAboutIt

What Is Christian About Democracy?

Over at the Huffington Post Robbie Gennet has made some interesting remarks about the impossibility of a democracy being Christian. In his words,

“There is no such thing as a Christian…Muslim… or Jewish Democracy…(or a solely Heterosexual one, for that matter).”

“True Democracy,” he says,

“Means True Equality and no religion sees itself as equal to all the others (and they feel especially unequal to secularism and atheism)...In this country, the vast majority of them (the religious) feel that the USA was founded as a Christian nation and should be run like one, which is anathema to the true Democratic ideals of our founding fathers.”

The truth is we actually could have a Christian democracy. We don’t have one now, we never have had one and if the opportunity arose to establish one I would vote against it in a heart beat. There isn’t much difference between a Christian Democracy and a religious state. But, even though we are not a Christian democracy I am not so sure Mr. Gennet is correct in suggesting our nation is not Christian. A nation is very different to a democracy. One can be Christian even if the other is not. In fact, one should definitely be Christian while the other should definitely not be and that is what our fore fathers understood.

Mr. Gennet also got the term “Christian” confused with the term “religion.” He freely quoted our fore fathers, who denounced religion, obviously implying they were also anti-Christian. The men who wrote our constitution, however, understood that being Christian and being religious are two very different things. It is possible to be one without being the other and some of those who framed our constitution were exactly that, Christian but not religious.

And, in fact, "religion" can mean anything. There are many different kinds of religion and many different versions of certain kinds (particularly Christian - for a read on that go here, Which Religion Is Right). History records a lot of conflict occurring between different religions and even different versions of the same religion.

Religious political abuses were committed regularly for centuries before the birth of our nation. We study these events in a sterile non-threatening setting but our fore fathers were eye witnesses. States driven by religious sentiment had maligned their names and threatened their lives. These same States, the larger number of which were Christian monarchies (a curious combination), regularly abused their citizens and fomented war against each other all in the name of religion. Our fore fathers were victims of these abuses. They learned firsthand that individual freedom was directly proportional to the distance maintained between church (religion) and state. But, much to the chagrin of those who don’t understand the difference, they did introduce Christian ideals into our system of government not the least of which is democracy.

Democracy is, by nature, flexible and at the same time Christian. It is God’s grace applied to the political process. Democracy doesn’t encourage pluralism but it allows for it and provides a peaceful process by which compromises can be reached and peace can be maintained. This is quite necessary in a multi-religious culture. But be warned! Democracy is only Christian as long as it is not used as a vehicle for establishing a State religion.

On a philosophical level, democracy encourages fairness and makes allowances for the inalienable rights of every individual.

On a practical level, democracy maintains a system of laws designed to protect individual freedom, even when personal choices involve destructive behavior. If you wish to smoke, eat too much, engage in promiscuous behavior or worship the devil that is your right.

Only when one person’s personal liberties impinge on the rights of others are courts required to decide where the line must be drawn. The courts uphold the free choices of others even when those choices are wrong (by Christian standards) as long as the liberties of others are not violated thereby, which by the way, is not the same as having your personal religious views offended.

The laws of a democratic state are designed to protect individual liberties not reflect morality in the absolute sense. Mr. Gennet implied this without saying it exactly and in that regard he and I agree.

Even the Old Testament, which seems a bit harsh for some, revealed some very democratic flexibility. Polygamy, because of its prevalence, was regulated in the law of Moses rather than “run out of town.” The same could be said for divorce. God’s absolute moral code did not agree with the cultural reality but He did flex enough to manage it graciously. This observation is very confusing to those who take a heavy handed approach to governance.

The system of government God levied on Israel was very strict in many ways but it was not absolute and, as already mentioned, it was flexible on some very questionable issues. It was much more idealistic than democracies today and much more firm in exacting penalties but it never worked and, therefore, should make us wonder. Maybe God implemented a government of strict religious and moral laws to show it can’t be done not to teach it should be tried.

Society will always be comprised of fallen humans none of whom is naturally agreeable to moral standards, all of whom are inclined toward trespasses, Christians included. Being Christian in a democratic society means graciously responding to the abuses, excesses and transgressions of others as long as they are democratically processed. Once we have argued the point and possibly lost the vote we must be able to focus on people rather than politics.

And for those who worry about being contaminated, democracy allows each person to be different as long as they are not disagreeable. That is to say, even though democracy allows lifestyles contrary to Christian standards it never imposes them on anyone. Democracy allows me to be fully Christian when everyone around me is not and vice versa.

Democracy is the political equivalent to grace. Moral truth is very fixed and exacting and society is never fully in line. Democracy is how we manage the difference even when the differences become unbearable to some.

To be a member of a religion you must agree to all the rules even when you fail to live up to them on occasion. Being an acceptable member of a democracy isn’t so demanding and the two are not the same. The only time a Christian’s religious views will parallel their political reality is when the State is controlled by a religion and then we have to wonder which religion will win out.

Mr. Gennet and I disagree on several things but when it comes to the nature of a democracy we have a lot in common. Because these concepts require serious consideration I would encourage you to ThinkAboutit.

Christmas - Occasion To Make Peace

You can look through the Bible diligently, reading it from cover to cover, but you won’t find anything there about Christmas as we celebrate it today. No gift giving, cheerful decorations, carols, special prayers or late night vigils. In fact, Christmas didn’t become a popular religious or social event until the fourth century AD and the date on which we celebrate Christmas, 25 December, is highly questionable. I won’t argue the date either way. Most of the reading on the topic is boring, in the extreme, and there is really no point.

But, even though there is no “Christmas” in the Bible you will definitely find the spirit of Christmas leaping from its pages. On the night Jesus was born the heavenly host proclaimed, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” At the heart of this statement is an issue which is also central to the entire Bible, Peace. Peace, unfortunately, is one very important but sometimes overlooked (or marginalized) point to the Christmas story. God wants us to have it and Jesus, the Prince of Peace, came to make it possible.

Not only did Jesus come to make peace possible He became our greatest example. He didn’t always avoid trouble but He tried to and when debates couldn’t be resolved He managed to slip away quietly. In addition, He didn’t take charge and “force” peace on us. If His intention was to “make peace happen” then Christmas would be a yearly reminder that He failed.

Jesus came to make peace possible and statements like... “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you,” are clear indications that we are the ones to make it happen. When Jesus said “blessed are the peacemakers” He was addressing Himself to us. Obviously, He was hoping we might catch on.

If you haven't been much of a peace maker in the past, not too worry. You can start anytime and there is no better time than Christmas. The opportunities to practice are endless. When rude drivers in heavy traffic cut you off, make peace. When you get caught standing in long cues due to inefficient service, make peace. When your neighbors have noisy parties long hours into the night, make peace. When wading through crowds of inconsiderate people in public places, make peace. On the odd occasion when you absolutely have to confront problem people, do it peacefully.

This Christmas, as with all others, think “peace.” “Keep” the peace where you have it and “make” it where you don’t: with family members, neighbors, fellow employees, those with whom you recreate, the public at large and, yes, even with God.

In the process, don’t show favoritism. Make peace with the ones you love and the ones you love to hate.

There is no better way to honor the birth of the one who made peace possible than by making a genuine effort to encourage it in every direction. But be warned. You might have to throw out your “eye for an eye” theology and adopt a more “turn the other cheek” approach. If you do, you will save yourself a lot of stress in the moment and contribute to genuine peace in the long run. It’s Christmas. Give it a try. ThinkAboutIt

God Speaks To Us - Abraham

Abraham is usually recognized as the founding leader of the Jewish religion and he definitely was one of the more prominent contributors. The interesting thing is, much of what he did religiously he received from his ancestors and there were only two new developments in this religion during his lifetime.

He didn’t wear different clothes or “move his affiliation” or modify his diet. The only additions were the institution of circumcision and the naming of Canaan as the geographical home of those who were followers. Together these additions don’t add up to massive religious changes but both were an inconvenience to Abraham, especially the land issue. Circumcision wasn’t too difficult to manage but living in the land was a constant source of irritation. On a religious level, not much changed during his life but on a personal level, his world was turned upside down.

Admittedly, choosing Canaan as the future home of Israel was significant to us but for Abraham it wasn’t very gratifying. He never owned any of the land other than the cave in which he buried Sara and living in Canaan was not a treat for him or his family. The spiritual environment and most of the residents were a constant source of grief.

To follow God, Abraham made many personal sacrifices and there were few positive outcomes to validate his troubles. When he died, the religion was still barely noticeable and his family was divided. So, we must ask, how did Abraham know with certainty he was where God wanted him to be, doing what God wanted him to do? How did God direct him in the first place and how did God encourage him to endure these troubles?

His Experience
In order to appreciate his sacrifices you need to know the problems he faced.

Journey Problems
To start, he travelled hundreds of miles from Ur to Canaan, a place he had never been and about which he knew nothing. He didn’t even know where he was going when he started.

To say this journey was “comfort challenged” is an understatement. There was no “modern” means of transport and he travelled with his family, a large number of servants and a large number of animals all of whom had to be fed and protected.

Family Problems
Abraham’s family situation was often discouraging. Sara went along with his plans but she wasn’t always sympathetic. Given his indecision, we can understand why.

His father died in Haran (halfway between Ur and Canaan) and his nephew, Lot, fought with him over rights to grazing land. Eventually the two separated never to be restored. The rest of his family stayed behind. He never saw them again.

Assimilation Problems
Even though Abraham’s “household” was a large contingent (his personal militia included 318 men) he never got established in the land. He was nomadic. He gave the appearance of being unsettled, even unstable. He moved several times within the land (on one occasion out of the land) and related to the locals only at a distance. “Untrusting” and “disconnected” would be the best words to describe his relationship with his neighbors. He was never close friends with anyone in the area.

When Abraham moved to Canaan it was a step down socially and culturally. He gave up everything when he left Ur: name, relationships, lands, influence and most of these things were never recovered in his lifetime. Many generations passed before any of his descendants took possession of the land. Even more generations passed before he was recognized for the greatness of his faith.

We are not being unreasonable to ask, “how did God communicate with this man?” How did He convince Abraham to go in the first place and how did He encourage him to stay once he arrived? Well, on a technical level, the answer is easy. He used spoken words, established principles of truth, circumstances and people to convey His message.

The Spoken Word
There were several times when God spoke audibly to Abraham over a span of at least 30 years:

• When He instructed him to leave for Canaan and after he arrived (Gen.12)
• When He promised him the entire land of Canaan (Gen 13)
• When He assured him he would have a biological heir (Gen 15)
• When He instituted circumcision (Gen 17)
• When He was about to judge Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen 18-19)
• When He encouraged him to send Hagar and Ishmael away (Gen 21)
• When He tested him with the sacrifice of Isaac (Gen 22)

These messages were specific and personal. They required a very special means of communication, such as the audibly spoken word and the information is pertinent for us also.

Some would suggest that God still speaks in this way today. If so, then we would expect the message to be very personal and to have huge implications for the greater population. That was the case with Abraham.

We could say more about this but it isn’t the point of this post. We will leave it for later.

Established Principles of Truth
Abraham did many things in Canaan, which he no doubt had previously learned about in Ur. All of them were well represented in Bible history.

• He offered sacrifices and worshipped. In fact, every time he moved within the land he built an altar as a matter of course. He also practiced tithing (Gen 14) which is a bloodless offering.

• He was socially guarded. For the most part Abraham was civil toward the surrounding communities but he kept a safe distance. He interacted with them when necessary and was always fair but he was never “close” to any of them.

• He understood monogamy. Abraham did commit adultery but not easily or without consequence. We are certain he understood monogamy or there wouldn’t have been a tense discussion between him and Sara over having a child with Hagar.

The practice of having children by concubines was widespread in those days. It was a matter of protection. There is power in numbers. If Abraham didn’t live by a different standard he and Sara would have adopted this practice long before they arrived in Canaan.

• He displayed honesty, courage and self-sacrifice. Abraham led the way in defeating a confederate army of five different kings only because he wanted to save Lot and his family from captivity. When the battle was over, he confidently and publicly refused any of the spoils which were associated with Sodom.

• Grace. The same man who was honest and courageous on one occasion also lied twice to different kings (dishonest). He did so to protect his life (cowardice) and he put Sara’s life in jeopardy when he did (selfish). The truth is, Abraham made a lot of mistakes but he never gave up on himself or God. There was a thirteen year period following the birth of Ishmael during which God said nothing to Abraham. His relationship with Sara was strained during that time and he probably never touched Hagar again but he knew something about the grace that God gives. Instead of running he patiently waited.

In the story of Abraham, God never restated any of these principles. He never told Abraham to worship, offer sacrifices, be socially guarded or be monogamous. They were well established principles and God neither repeats nor defends Himself. He doesn’t retell each successive generation everything He established before. Abraham was aware of these principles and when he failed, God was silent not noisy. Fortunately, even God’s grace was an established principle which sustained him through the failure. These are principles we can bank on even today.

We have much more Bible than Abraham and far less reason to need individualized instruction. Therefore, if you want God to speak to you, the best place to start is the written Word. The more Bible you read the more God you hear.

Circumstances
Sometimes God used the consequences of Abraham’s actions to communicate with him. This happened more than once.

When Abraham lied, God spoke to the kings, in both cases, not Abraham. In return, the kings reprimanded Abraham publicly. They were echoing God’s sentiments. God didn’t need to say anything.

When Abraham committed adultery, God said nothing to anyone. Sara, however, had a lot to say. The friction was a constant reminder that adultery is a no-no. God needed to say nothing more.

Abraham's Resolve - The Real Issue
There were two details in Abraham’s life that kept him off balance. One was living in the land without socially integrating and the second was having a child by Sara. The question for Abraham, in both cases, was not "did God speak," but "did God mean what He said." No one has received instruction more clearly or specifically than Abraham. The clearness of God’s communication was not the issue. Abraham’s ability to accept it was.

When he arrived in the land and experienced famine, he was confused. When he remained childless for years, especially after he arrived in the land he was frustrated. When Sara suggested he have a child by Hagar (doing what they knew was questionable) he was uncertain. But, through all of these situations Abraham learned that God not only speaks, He means exactly what He says.

Abraham lived a hundred years in Canaan and survived famines, family conflicts, war and God’s judgment on neighboring cities. All of those problems, however, were incidental. The real lesson for Abraham was learning to overcome his indecision. Getting to Canaan was difficult. Staying there was even more difficult. His resolve was constantly tested. What we learn from his experience is not “how” God speaks to us but that He doesn’t repeat Himself and He really means what He says.

When God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, the Bible clearly says it was a test. A test of what? A test of his resolve to take God at His word. God never changed His instructions to Abraham but He did change Abraham’s ability to live with it.

For now, if you want to know what God is saying to you, read your Bible. Do what it says. ThinkAboutIt.

God Blesses Israel

The neighborhood in which I grew up was very middle class. We had all types living there from professionals to laborers but everyone got along, at a distance, and it was “safe.” There were no drugs or serious mischief of any kind and the parents let us kids romp freely without worry. We rode bikes in the street (very little traffic), played baseball or football, depending on the season, and we even had woods and a creek nearby that gave us many opportunities to do a bit of safe exploration.

Our street was a long slow curve both ends of which attached to a moderately busy throughway but we always felt comfortably isolated from the mainstream. From our neighborhood we could see the world without being in it and yet we were very close to every possible amenity. Within two minutes “walk” we had a drive-in theatre, a children’s hospital, a church, a community hall (we had Cub Scout meetings there) and just a bit further away was an orphanage (with a dairy farm), a well developed shopping center and most of the kids could ride bikes to the local elementary school. It was a nice neighborhood situated close to everything you might need.

From the age of 8 to 16 I lived eight of the most formative years of my life in this neighborhood. It was there that I developed some of the closest friendships I ever had and experienced many personal firsts: kiss, smoke, caught fish, fight and there are a few I won’t mention. That neighborhood molded the perspective I have on life and the world. Even today, many years later, my experiences there are still the basis for many of my idiosyncrasies.

The one interesting thing about this neighborhood was the presence of several Jewish families. I recall at least five but there may have been more. Of the five I remember, two lived on either side of us. The Rothenbergs lived on the left and the Aptakers lived on the right. We were close to these families. The kids from all three houses played together. The adults talked across the fence. My dad and Mr. Aptaker often discussed their common interest in gardening. From my youthful point of view I thought they were the only two people in the world who could enjoy gardening. I’ve since learned that there are many other people with this same affliction.

Obviously, there were differences between the families. They were Jewish and we were Gentile. The differences, however, never got in the way. They were talking points only. No one was judged. In fact, I learned about Hanukkah from our neighbors and looked forward every year to buttered Matzo bread. I still buy it and enjoy it today. Unfortunately, I don’t remember everything they taught me about Hanukkah. I was too busy crunching on the bread to take everything in but I do remember it being interesting. Eli (the oldest Rothendberg boy) and I had so much in common as kids the differences hardly registered.

These Jewish families were good neighbors. They were friendly and decent people. We were as close to them as we were to any other people in the neighborhood. They weren’t spoken against or viewed condescendingly in our family or, as far as I know, by anyone else. The only squabbles we had with these neighbors had nothing to do with them being Jewish or us being Gentile. They were appreciated. We had no reason to think of them as anything other than good people who happened to be good neighbors.

That is why I was quite surprised when I first heard the term “anit-semite.” To be honest, I didn’t even know what that was. When it was explained I was really confused. How could anyone be anti-Aptaker? How could anyone not like the Rothenbergs. These were our friends. They harmed no one. I seriously doubted they were able to. “Anti-semitism” just didn’t sit well with me. That a holocaust could occur in modern times made me view humanity in a poor light not the Jewish people. It was really freaky.

Later, when I attended Bible college I was happily exposed to a lot of very positive data regarding the Jewish nation and it was there that I learned that they were God’s very special people even today. The list of contributions they have made to society is endless and growing. They are truly a God blessed people and the evidence proving this is astounding. Consider just a few of the facts:

23% of all Nobel Prize winners are Jewish.
38% of those receiving the US National Medal of Science are Jewish.
26% of all Kyoto Prize winners are Jewish.

Those numbers represent only the Jewish people who have won these prestigious awards. That doesn’t count the number of other Jewish people who have made enormous contributions to society and are professionals on whom we rely daily. For a more detailed list of their accomplishment you can go here.

These figures are even more note worthy when you consider the fact that Jewish people represent only 0.25% of the world’s population and they have endured enormous socio/political obstacles to personal accomplishments of any kind. Their numbers have been decimated and their talents ignored and yet they flourish and excel.

On top of these observations is the fact that God, through the Jewish nation, gave us our Bible. Every book in the Bible was written by or under the auspices of a Jew (Luke was a Gentile writing under the authority of Paul, the Apostle). We have them to thank for all the useful influences of the Bible and Jewish people have often been great examples of the good things the Bible teaches.

Tell me, where would we be without the Bible? Which religion, apart from those influenced by the Bible, would you prefer? Where would the world be without the contribution of the people who gave us our Bible? The next time you hear someone vilify a Jew or their nation remember these words...

“I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless them that bless you, and curse him that curses you: and in you shall all families of the earth be blessed.” (God to Abraham, Genesis 12:2-3)

Change Your Life!

Change is one of the most remarkable qualities of human nature. From the time we are conceived until the time we die “change” is our constant companion. As infants, we grow physically, pick up knowledge rapidly and our senses are exercised every waking moment.

In the preteen years we begin to manifest abilities which, if developed, give definition to the changes we make in the future. People change into all kinds of things: doctors, lawyers, managers, technicians, entrepreneurs, etc. and we develop all kinds of skills and qualities in the process of getting there.

The interesting thing about change is we never arrive. We continue to change throughout life in response to our experiences. That is, we become better, more experienced doctors or lawyers or technicians because we continue to gain new insights and learn from the mistakes we made in the past. Engineers today build better damns and bridges because they have learned from the experiences of previous generations.

Our ability to change gives us what I call “become-ability.” A dog will never be anything other than a dog and the same can be said for every other life form except humans. Animals become nothing other than what their inborn nature and instincts allow. Their most dominant quality is their predictability. Real change is the domain of humans only. Not even God can change.

Sadly, however, some people never intentionally become anything. They get caught in the cycle that goes nowhere and positive change never happens. When this occurs, everyone and everything around them seem to negatize any effort to break the cycle. Which is to say that change can sometimes take a bad turn which isn’t easily made right.

But, there is one person who always wants you to change for the good, God. He created you with a high capacity for change initially and when that doesn’t go as well as He originally intended He’s organized a back up plan to give you some extra impetus. Following are some of the things He has provided to make this possible:

A new nature. Jesus said we could be born again. This isn’t really a new topic. The terminology isn’t well understood but it has become popular. To discuss it fully would take several posts. Suffice it to say, however, that at the heart of this issue is a new nature. The person who is born again receives a brand new, un-taint-able, unchangeable nature. It doesn’t replace the old nature but it does give you more leverage on your ability to change. The new nature gives us what I call “overcome-ability.”

A new coach. No one pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps. No one succeeds without the support and encouragement of other people. Everyone needs people even if all they do is use them.

The problem is, the people we need are not always what we need them to be. They don’t always have the answers we need most and when they do they aren’t always willing to share them. Not every person is willing or capable of mentoring our lives.

Well, God has your best interest at heart always and He wants to be your coach. This is so true that He promises to indwell us by His Holy Spirit who intends to encourage us, not judge us, hound us or make us feel guilty every time we fail. In fact, the Holy Spirit is called the “comforter.” His primary purpose is to be our friend. To call Him "comforter" is like saying,

“I know you will fail and when you do I am going to be the one who continues to accept you and comfort you and help you and encourage you to never give up, no matter what.”

Jesus is actually quoted as saying, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Interpreted that means,

“Even when you give up on yourself I will never give up on you.”

Paul actually shared that exact sentiment with Timothy who at the time was feeling a little overcome with life. With a coach like that who can fail to make positive changes. Who can fail to keep on keeping on.

A new opportunity. The most powerful word in the Bible is “forgiveness.” Properly understood it means,

“even when you mess up completely you can never fail entirely.”

I don’t want to sound glib, casual or disrespectful but “forgiveness” is your “get-out-of-jail-free” card. You can and will fail but, you can never fail beyond God’s ability to forgive. When you totally crash one opportunity, He will have another one waiting for you once you get through the turbulence. Sometimes it is our failure that stimulates our greatest changes.

Additionally the words used to describe change help us understand the extent to which this can actually happen:

Repentance (a change of mind). How many people do you know who really (I mean really) change their mind. To many, there isn’t much difference between a change of mind and compromise.

Transformed (metamorphosis resulting from renewing the mind). Metamorphosis!?!?!?!?!? The changes God allows are so radical it can only be described as a “morphing” of your nature. How amazing is that? Oh, and BTW, it starts with the renewing of your mind. Your life will never change if your mind doesn’t move.

New Creations (what we are because of the new birth). This speaks of the change that God makes in us. When you are born again God makes you completely new. He doesn’t renovate the old you He replaces it with the new you.

And the Bible further provides a long list of qualities that can characterize every Christian: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Wow, who wouldn’t want to be all of those? Who wouldn’t want to associate with people like this?

The question is not, “are you changing?” but “in which direction are you changing?” Don’t waste energy doubting the changes God has made possible. Don’t stay in the dumps over the difference between where you are and where you wish you were. Begin making changes today! ThinkAboutIt.

Voting Beats Violence

Next Tuesday, 4 November 2008, is election day in the US of A and that is great news! It means that we are still holding free and peaceful elections after more than two hundred years. It is no longer the largest voting event in the world (In 2004 380 million people voted in India) but it holds second place and it is still one of the oldest in modern times. The process allows for universal suffrage, is managed by thousands of volunteers and includes a secret ballot which eliminates intimidation. It is truly a “we the people” event. It isn’t without problems but that means it is healthy.

Before we had elections we had violence. In the past the strongest, most dominant individual with the greatest number of strategically placed armies wrested control of the state by force and were free to do as they pleased until the next great power came along and took over. It was a very bloody process but the upside was a great fiscal outcome, you didn’t have near as many people to govern (or feed) when it was over. The downside? There was never a peaceful end. Leaders were constantly watching their back and usually died an early and violent death. The balance between peace and conflict could not be maintained.

To avoid these pitfalls civilizations began dabbling with other options one of which stuck, voting. It is the modern replacement for bloodshed. Although you still have the odd punch up at the polling stations and there is a lot of heated incrimination between the candidates and their supporters before and after the vote it is still the foundation of a peaceful democracy.

Casting a vote is what I do instead of firing a bullet. Casting only one vote is a way of respecting the rights and opinions of my neighbors. Casting a vote consistently is the least we can do to be good citizens. Casting a vote is the best way to say thanks to everyone who paved the way to peace. Casting a vote is one way to be a good example to the rest of humanity and the idea is catching on.

All of that is to say this. Don’t be discouraged by the bad mouthing, name calling and exaggerated accusations from the candidates and those who support them. Do your own research and don’t believe everything you hear. Obama isn’t second cousin to ben Ladin and McCain doesn’t have a harem on the side. “Freedom of speech” must be complimented by “freedom of thought.” We must learn to separate emotion from substance.

Keep in mind these things. The process is sound even with the problems. Every election is managed by humans and will have its flaws. Mess ups are not always equal to corruption.

The candidates are different more by ability than philosophy, this year any way. When you take away all the rhetoric they are much closer than many would like you to think and having two sides is great. Popular agreements are reached when two opposing sides debate, discuss and argue until they find the acceptable middle ground.

Whoever wins the election will be the president of every person in the country. Elected officials will be serving every person in both parties and will need the prayers of everyone who still believes God is in control. Partisan mentalities must give way to good governance and “we the people” must make it clear that we expect that to happen. But, all of this starts with your vote. Don’t miss it!

I have already cast my vote by absentee ballot. Whom I voted for is none of your business. The person you vote for is none of mine. Not voting, however, is an insult.

For those not eligible to vote in the coming US elections I have included a poll for you to have your say (right side column). It won’t change the outcome of the election but it is nice to express your opinion so take your pick. But, in whatever country you live do your civic duty and register to vote. One vote at a time we can all have influence. We might not change what is but we can slow down the process to becoming what should not be. ThinkAboutIt

Coffee Consumption Supports Third World

I grew up drinking coffee. Been drinking the stuff so long I can't remember when I had my first cup. I didn't start out as a connoisseur and wouldn't say I am one now but I do know a good cup when I taste it. In fact, I have been known to walk into and right out of a restaurant based on how they manage the coffee making machinery. Truth: No respect for the coffee, no respect for the customer.

Well, I was recently invited to a local coffee shop which reportedly "served the best coffee in town." For that kind of guarantee I will travel. Becky and I visited and we weren't disappointed. The coffee was really great! The shop is called "Urban Grounds" and is situated on the south side of Durban (Glenwood area) at the corner of Frere and Ayott Roads. They offer a great line up of coffees, friendly and helful staff, an interesting gallery in which jewelry and art items are displayed (all locally made) and a unique, one of a kind, atmosphere. It is the kind of place where repeat customers pop in just to connect with friends and enjoy the brew. We met several new people when we visited.

I also logged onto their web site and discovered some interesting information. They are very supportive of South Africa and use only locally roasted beans. They follow World Barista Championship standards for making their coffee which means, for one thing, they never use beans more than 14 days old. They also include very interesting posts on various technical aspects of the coffee industry. It is good information to have if you happen to enjoy a good cup of coffee and find yourself needing factual information to defend this enjoyment against coffee antagonists. There aren't many of those left but you do find them occasionally. By the way, UG will serve you a cup of tea if you prefer.

I receommend their shop and their web site. You will find their web page here and it includes all the details for finding or contacting the shop.

Visit soon. Its a long ride for those who live on the north side of Durban but you won't be disappointed once you arrive. They had to run us out. We stayed past closing.

Many of you don't live in South Africa but if you ever venture to this part of the world you now know a place where you can drink the water and the coffee is great!

Another interesting observation came to mind while visiting the UG web site. Coffee is not a first world luxury. It is grown, roasted and ENJOYED in many third world countries. The economic success of these countries is driven by their coffee industry, which means, every time you drink a cup of coffee you are helping to uplift economies of the less privileged. Drink up!

I Finished...Was Finished

My first organized effort to raise funds for charity was a great experience! If you have never done anything like this you are missing out. Please let me share the experience with you.

Race day came early. Was up at 3:35 AM after only two hours sleep and travelled 90 kilometers to the start line in Pietermaritzburg. Fortunately, I was able to catch a ride with a group of well-experienced riders, who knowing I was a newbie, willingly gave lots of good advice and were very encouraging. My start time was forty minutes earlier than theirs so I was on my own during the race but that was a good thing. I knew that any pressure to keep up with a group would work against me and I didn’t want to hold anyone back.

The weather was perfect. It was foggy and misty at the start and remained overcast for all but the last 20 kilometers. I was cool for most of the day. Never had to use my sunglasses once. I was grateful.

The climbing was actually different to what I expected. There were two 20 kilometer stretches where the climbing never seems to stop. I thought the last series of climbs could end my race. But, my fears were wasted energy. I got through the climbs better than I thought and my biggest problem was stamina. I really struggled over the last thirty kilometers. I was finished when I finished but all the pain dissipated when I crossed the finish line.

Apparently, there are many riders who don’t complete this race so it was a personal victory for me to reach the end. I am experienced now and will train for longer rides before the next race. It was hard but I loved it and can’t wait to do the next one. I am writing this post on the morning after the race and I feel great! A little sore around the knees but nothing too severe.

Now, to the important stuff. Along the race route (very rural), we were cheered on by many locals. They were fantastic! There’s nothing better than a bit of positive input while you’re trudging along. They cheered, clapped, encouraged and even sang songs making us feel better about the pain.

On one stretch, I went by a large group of orphans. There must have been 250 kids gathered along the road. I took my time there. I waved, said hello and thanked them for their support. Some of them were in wheel chairs. Most seemed healthy.

Unfortunately, this is very common. It isn’t unusual to find orphans and make shift efforts to care for them everywhere. They are as numerous as trees in the forest and it is a problem that constantly stares you in the face in this part of the world. They were the reason I rode in this race. They are the ones for whom we need to give. We CAN make a difference in their lives.

In the last two posts, I have tried to put this problem into perspective. Most of our efforts in the past aimed at solving the problem that caused the orphan tragedy, AIDS, and a lot has been done to control it. Sadly, the orphans still need us more than ever. I also introduced the CRP as a great orphan village project that anyone could be pleased to support.

Now is the time to make a donation and anyone can do this. Please click hereto do so. If you have questions, please check out this link to the CRP web site. Look through my last two posts for more details but please know that any donation you make will be useful.

Two notes for South African donors:

One, the postal code in the online donation form requires five digits instead of four. To solve this problem put a zero in front of your code.

Two, the online amounts are shown in US Dollars. To make a donation using a South African credit card (which I have done) decide the Rand amount you wish to donate and divide that figure by the exchange rate. That will give you the Dollar amount to use in the donation form. Right now, for example, R100 would be equivalent to approximately $10.

This effort is only the first attempt at raising funds for orphans. We will do this again and will make the process more user friendly for South Africans in the future. In fact, I want your input. I believe every person cares about this problem and wants to be a part of the solution. If you have ideas for doing this better, share them. You can make a comment or send an email. Suggestions are welcome.

Disclaimer: I took the picture at the start line. It is horrible but I was using my phone camera which sometimes works and sometimes not. When I finally got it to work I decided it would have to do. You can see the CRP logo on the left side of my jersey.

AIDS Treatment No Use To Orphans (Continued from last post)

There is one very good reason why every person should donate to the Children’s Resiliency Project (CRP). All the work done to solve the AIDS problem has done nothing to solve the orphan problem it caused. AIDS and orphans are two entirely different problems and require two completely different solutions.

All the hype associated with the prevention, treatment and cure of AIDS has overshadowed the stark reality of the plight of orphans. When a cure is finally found for the disease we will still be left with millions of children who have no parents and in most cases no place to go. Solving the AIDS riddle does nothing to eliminate the orphan tragedy and the solution for both problems require very different methods.

If the orphan problem were a disease, it would actually be easier to address but there is no injection to make this problem go away. Walk-in clinics are not designed to meet this kind of need or the demand. The only useful treatment for orphans is tender loving care and they need it 24/7.

There is a substantial supply of funds and thousands of professionals already working in unison to discover and dispense cures for all kinds of diseases. The infrastructure to meet the needs of orphans, however, barely exists.

The work to find a cure for AIDS is winding down. The work needed to meet the needs of orphans has hardly gotten started.

Both problems require an enormous effort to solve. One has gotten a lot of attention. The other has gotten mostly lip service. The disparity between the investments made to solve these two problems is embarrassing.

And, to make things worse, while the devastation of AIDS (to those who contract it) is being diminished, the orphan problem is only getting worse.

UNICEF estimates the number of orphans in Sub-Saharan Africa will reach 20 million by 2010 (up from 11 million in 2001) and that is only the number orphaned by AIDS. The actual number of orphans is considerably higher at more than twice that.

The “20 million” number counts for as much as 25% of the childhood population in some of these countries and it represents 90% of all AIDS affected orphans in the entire world. But we don’t see this for what it really is, an entirely separate problem. We have made a lot of progress in treating AIDS. We have done very little to address the orphan issue.

CRP is not addressing the disease and probably never will (it would be overkill if it did) but it is addressing the outcome of the AIDS problem, which according to statistics, has become bigger than AIDS and is still growing.

Question: Will you be a part of the solution? If you have not donated time or resources to any specific orphan home or village then I would ask you in the name of the millions of orphans who desperately need you, to do something today, now.

If you would like to make a donation to CRP and I am encouraging you to do that, go here (South Africans must add a zero to the front of their postal code). If you would like to know more about CRP click here. If you would like to know what I am doing check out my last post (I am riding in a bike race with “CRP Orphan Village” plastered on the front and back of my jersey).

If you want to think about it before you donate, please remember this. When AIDS patients need medication they have dispensaries to rely on. When they need special care they go to clinics and hospitals. Orphans, however, take to the streets. They rely on traffic lights to appeal for a bit of pocket change and rubbish bins outside fast food restaurants for an occasional meal. Let’s do something about this. ThinAboutIt later? Do something now!

Please don’t keep the children waiting. They’re hungry!

BTW, Bob Graham, the founder of CRP, is a highly qualified man. He holds an earned PhD in education, has run a very successful basketball program at the high school level, which he used to develop underprivileged kids, and taught effectively for many years in a private school. He could be leading a normal life making very good money and wishing the best for all the orphans. Instead he is taking the problem head on and all he needs from us is support. It is a privilege to be able to help.